10 Ways to Self Love
“Rest and self care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel”
— Eleanor Brownn
I believe this last year did a number on many of us and has left some of our love tanks a little low. Everyone is unique, so the method of which you fill your tank may be different than the person sleeping next to you. And that’s a beautiful thing! Embrace it. Move with it. Ask yourselves these questions: What makes me feel excited? What brings me joy? This will guide you in discovering what it is that you need.
Important Reminder!! This is not about performance. You don’t have to do x,y,z in order to meet some ultimate place of self love. Self love is a journey. And your progress will not be linear. Some days will be so rewarding and other days will make you think you’ve taken three steps backward. But that’s not true. A bad day, week or even months does not mean you are moving backwards. A bad day is an opportunity for you to move through with vulnerability and reflection. Plus, the hard days make the good ones that much sweeter!
So let’s dive in! Here are some ideas for ways you can move towards self love and hopefully begin refilling your tank:
Read a hope filled book: Filling your mind with joy filled stories can help redirect the negative thoughts and leave you dreaming about a beautiful future.
Reduce the noise: Many of us are unaware of the negative affect our electronics have on our mind, heart and soul. Something as simple as seeing pictures of a “happy family” can make us feel envious of others. Or maybe you're a nightly crime show watcher and suffering from bad dreams.. Switch it up! Avid news reader and feeling overly stressed? Reduce your exposure and catch up only a couple days a week. Be thoughtful when selecting shows or reading the news and see how that affects your thoughts and moods.
Get Outside: Your body actually NEEDS the outdoors. A healthy dose of Vitamin D is a mood elevator and moving your body releases endorphins (feel good chemicals). So like, natural medicine for free and with little effort. Win win.
Some additional ideas for getting outside: read at a park, go surfing, take a walk around your neighborhood, explore a local hiking trail, work from your laptop in your backyard, lay on the grass and watch the clouds or bring your bluetooth speaker outside for a dance.
Try that thing you've always wanted to try: Have you ever found yourself oohing and ahhing over someone's homemade pottery or embroidery? Maybe your friend grew up in a bilingual home and you just WISH you could speak another language. Perhaps you've always dreamed of being a derby girl. Buy the skates and go! Who knows, maybe you'll even find your calling or turn your new found passion into a business!
Take a Bath: A study by Cleveland Clinic says that a 30 minute bath at the temperature of a hot tub (104 degrees F) can actually improve depression, decrease stress hormones and help balance serotonin levels (mood regulators). Adding some lavender or eucalyptus epsom salts can help relax muscles, relieve pain and make a bath intoxicatingly therapeutic.
Engage in Play: If you have kids in your life, hang out with them. Learn from them. Follow their lead. They will teach you to play. No kids? Grab a coloring book and a box of colored pencils and let loose. Some of my most healing moments were building blocks with my kids or coloring alone in my daughters nutcracker coloring book.
Declutter your life: For some of you this may mean getting rid of your stuff or organizing your closet. For others, it may mean saying "no" to people and reducing the amount of activities, events or responsibilities you have. Maybe it's time to rethink friendships or relationships. Are these people adding something to your life? Challenging you? Encouraging you? If not, maybe it's time to move in a different direction.
Journal: Journaling can be an avenue of release, reflection, creative expression and deep connection to oneself. That may sound hippy-dippy... but it can be life-changing if you allow it. Sometimes the process of writing out your thoughts and feelings can provide not only a pressure release but even a therapeutic experience.
Find a therapist: for those of you who follow me on social media, you’ll know how much of an advocate I am for therapy. The best way to find a therapist is through word of mouth but if no one in your circle has done therapy there are great online resources like https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. Be bold my friends! This can be a hard step to take but will be one you will never regret.
Take care of your body: For those of you that have invested in your internal wellness but feel too busy or distracted to take care of your physical self, this one is for you. If you never get your hair done because life just feels too busy, make that appointment. If your feet are freakishly dry from not having a pedicure this past year, order a foot peel. If you have been eating the leftovers off your kids plate rather than eating a well balanced meal (like most mothers) it's time to revamp your food intake. It's time to prioritize yourself.
If none of these speak to you, I encourage you to spend 10 minutes and do a dive inward. What would fill you up? Our world is hurting and if we can invest in ourselves by filling our love tanks, we will be so much more prepared to go out and spread the love our world so desperately needs.
Love you all - Ash