Rise Up

This season of our lives and what we are living through will be written in history books. It’s that big… It’s that weighty. 

There are days that before I even open my eyes, I dread the day ahead. There was a time (in the not so distant past) I found myself waking with energy, hope, joy. A time when my dreams and aspirations, the laughter of my children and a new day held feelings of immense opportunity. But right now, the world feels like it’s caving in on me. 

I’ve seen all the memes and jokes about how 2020 has slapped us all in the face. And the reason most of us chuckle is that we can deeply relate to it. The sad reality is, it isn’t ending anytime soon. People are continuing to be taken ill. Family members are dying. Our black brothers and sisters are still hurting and being treated unjustly. This new normal for me has stirred up unbearable anxieties. My heart is deeply saddened. My mind confused about how we got here and straining to find a solution to get us through this. My spirit feels tired. My body is physically breaking down. 

Every solution I produce doesn’t seem like enough. My fear of getting it wrong has been weighing me down and chaining me to silence and constant anxiety.

But is it really about getting it “right”? 

I’ve lived my life focused on outcomes. Always using efficiency as a guide in order to reach the finish line quickly and effectively. Never feeling settled until I accomplished the next step.

Maybe instead of focusing on the outcome, we focus on the process. We dive deep into the experience. We open our arms to the anxiety. We accept the fact that we may do it wrong one day. Say something that hurts another and chose the next day to approach the situation with more grace.

We are human. We WILL get it “wrong”. But is that so bad? If the outcome of “getting it wrong” is doing it a little better the next time, then it’s a positive thing, right? The real beauty is in the effort.  Rather than seeing everything as a problem to fix or a task that needs to be handled, we instead choose to accept each circumstance as an opportunity for experience. Maybe we deal with that interaction well, maybe we don’t. But sitting still, quiet, afraid to make a move is only assuring no change. No growth. 

What kind of change can we make if we make decisions based in fear? Or fear of what other’s may think? Isn’t it better to look a fool and learn??? If we all genuinely just took a step, to make an effort, to shout “black lives matter!” even if we don’t know we’re doing it the “right” way, wouldn’t that lead to more change than staying silent? 

Everyday you have a choice. What will you do with that choice? Will you choose to rise? Rise to the challenge in the moment? Speak out against injustice? Keep fighting even when you feel like you can’t tread water any longer?

I don’t speak as though I have figured it all out. Because God knows I haven’t. But in effort, in the baby steps, there can be breakthrough! So just move. Take a step. If you take a step backwards, that’s okay. You have not failed. You have instead learned how to take two steps forward.

It’s time to rise up hand in hand with our brothers and sisters of color. Rise up and accept your challenges with open arms. Be honest with yourself. Dig a little deeper. Fight a little harder. Pray with more authority. It’s not about getting it right. It’s about trying, failing, learning and trying again.

Rise up and be the change.