Anxiety During a Pandemic

Are you processing mindfully or disregarding your struggles?

A few months back I had a coworker tell me of a hardship he was going through. Though it was clear he was struggling with something he ended his story with, “but you know, first world problems”. That got me thinking… How many times have I written off an issue because of “first world problems”? How many times have I set aside something that was causing me pain because others have it worse?

We are in a season where many people are losing the ones they love without an opportunity to kiss them goodbye. People are spending their last hours in a hospital bed with no one to hold their hand. Breadwinners with multiple children to support have lost their jobs. Individuals are losing their income, health insurance and are now spending their lives quarantined alone. People in abusive homes are now stuck with their abusers. I could go on and on. My point is, people are seriously suffering. Our neighbors are suffering. Our friends are suffering. Children are suffering! 

With all this in mind, it can be easy to fall down the rabbit hole of “someone always has it worse”. That statement will almost always be true. But does it mean what you are experiencing, struggling with, is not worth your time or acknowledgement? By disregarding your challenges you’re not allowing your mind to process through difficult emotions, feelings and thoughts that arise from that circumstance. Without processing them, there can’t be true healing. 

In my current conversations with family and friends I have noticed  many people are experiencing a sense of guilt, anxiety and depression. In a season of global trauma, many of us are critiquing ourselves for our actions or lack thereof. Some are trying desperately to DO. To organize, exercise, learn new recipes and become the “best” version of themselves. While there is nothing wrong with doing things, this is not a season where you HAVE to be productive. Sometimes productivity is our way of distracting ourselves from internal issues. We live in a society that glorifies the belief that we need to be productive, money making workaholics, who exercise every day and make homemade organic meals for our children, or we are just not that valuable. It’s all bullshit. And this season of being home is an opportunity to clear that out. A chance to be still. 

Being still is not just about the physical, it’s also about the mental and emotional. In stillness, we can sometimes find ourselves feeling anxious. Especially if we have fallen for the BS societal version of a successful individual. If you find you are someone who is struggling with the stillness, I challenge you to begin asking yourself “why”. 

“Why do I feel unsettled right now”? Answer your question. Truthfully. Once you have answered, ask yourself another “why”. “I am feeling unsettled because ___. Okay, why is THAT making me feel ___?”

This process allows you to dig a little deeper and will move you through your anxiety in a healthy way. You may find that once you discover what is causing your anxiety, it will have less power over you.

It is easy to fall into feelings of anxiety and depression during a season of trauma. My therapist once explained to me that trauma is when your safety and security are robbed from you. We are very much living that reality. So rather than set aside the way you are feeling right now, bring it to the surface. If it makes you cry, CRY. If it makes you angry, GET ANGRY. Process it. Move through it. Your feelings, fears, doubts are all valid because they are yours.

For my fellow mothers:

You are in one of the hardest seasons of life. Not only are you busy caring for the basic needs of your children while stuck in the small  confines of your home, you are given little to no time to care for yourself right now. If you are feeling alone, reach out to another mom. Whether you know her or you just follow her on social media. I promise you almost every mother is struggling in the same way. Feeling like some days you just CAN’T. Yelling at your kids when you’ve never yelled before. Crying over spills on the kitchen floor. Struggling to just be present because your mind is filled with the upsetting news article you read that morning. Making frozen pizza because the idea of cooking another meal makes you want to curl up in a ball and hibernate for the summer. Connecting with another mom allows an opportunity to be heard and understood. Don’t dismiss your feelings just because someone else may have it worse. We all need one another right now. More than ever. 

I hear your cries. I see your frustration. I understand your pain. And you need to know, you are loved. You are a warrior. Waking up everyday is a battle that you are winning. You can do this.